The Mirror Image Iterations
by Madame Curie
Summary: Wil Wheaton sells a sitcom pilot which features four beautiful women physicists who can't get dates because their intelligence scares all the men away. Penny is cast in one of the 4 roles. Eventually, all 4of the guys will meet their female counterpart.
1. Chapter 1

The Mirror Image Iterations Chapter 1

Sheldon Cooper sat in front of his computer, reading an article entitled "Physics at the Air-Sea Interface" from the online webzine: Physical Oceanography Quarterly. Although his field of study in physics was concerned with string theory, he had recently become interested in physics as it related to the oceans. He was going to conduct his own research to discover, once and for all, if global warming were man-made, or simply unstoppable mother nature.

Dimly, as if it were the buzzing of a mosquito, he could hear a shrieking noise. Suddenly he blinked and looked up. Normally nothing could tear his attention away from a physics article or problem, but after three years of living across the hallway from Penny he had learned to leave a little bit of himself open to his surroundings. A hailing frequency, as it were. And shrieks were intruding upon it.

Sheldon jumped up, scurried out of the room and across the hall.

He knocked on the door, simultaneously calling "Penny." Before he could knock again, as was his custom, Penny jerked open the door.

Although tears were streaming down her face, her face was radiant. Before he could utter another word, she had clasped his face between both hands and kissed him on the mouth. Then she let go of his face and hugged him.

"Penny! Have you taken leave of your senses?" asked Sheldon.

She danced away from him. "Oh, Sheldon, Sheldon! I got the part! I got the part! I got the part!"

"You got the part? The part in your hair remains in exactly the same place….oh, you mean you received a part in a play?"

"No, Sheldon, not a play, a TV series. A series!" She raised her hands to grab his face again, but he skittered backwards.

"What kind of a TV series?" he said with stilted curiosity.

"It's going to be really cool! And it's really ironic. It's a situation comedy about four girl physicists. We're really smart, but socially awkward. You know – because we're smarter than every man we meet, and they're attracted to our beauty and scared at the same time."

Sheldon stared at her, his mouth opening and closing. "Penny….I….don't know what to say. Ironic isn't the word."

"I am so happy! Okay, go, go! I have to call my parents."

Penny shooed him out of her apartment and into the hallway. Sheldon stood in the hallway, frozen, feeling like a pillar of salt.

Leonard walked up the stairs at that moment. "Sheldon, what's the matter?"

"I've just been thinking about Lot and Lot's wife," Sheldon said. "Did you know that there's a school of thought that believes that God actually used an atom bomb to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah? And that Lot's wife wasn't so much turned into a pillar of salt but a pillar of ash?"

"No, I'd never heard of that."

"Well, said Sheldon, as he followed Leonard into their apartment, "Let me tell you that that is much more plausible than the news I have to tell you about Penny."


	2. Chapter 2

The Mirror Image Iterations

Chapter 2

"Okay, Sheldon, what's going on?" Leonard demanded, as soon as Sheldon closed the door behind him.

"Penny has gotten a part."

"A part? You mean she's changed her hairdo?"

"No. A part. In a TV series."

"In a TV series?" Leonard squeaked. "What, like an extra?"

"No. If I understood her correctly, she has a lead role. But, Leonard…."

Sheldon and Leonard had been speaking while standing on their feet. Now, Sheldon settled into his spot on the couch and pyramided his hands in front of his lips. "I will tell it to you exactly as she told me. She said, and I quote, "It's really ironic." (Here Sheldon paused and directed one of his patented looks at Leonard. "It's a situation comedy about four girl physicists. We're really smart, but socially awkward. You know – because we're smarter than every man we meet, and they're attracted to our beauty and scared at the same time."

"My…god," said Leonard. "There's something weird there."

"Weird?" replied Sheldon. "Penny? As a _physicist_? The world has turned upside down."

"She's not going to _be_ a physicist," Leonard snapped. "She's just going to act like one."

"If Penny can _act_ like a physicist she'll deserve to win the Nobel prize."

"You mean the Academy award."

"That too."

"Anyway," continued Leonard, "_that's_ not what I thought was weird. Well, _very_ weird. It…It's the premise of the show that's weird…"

Before he could continue, there was a brisk knock and then Howard Wolowitz and Raj Koothrapolli walked into the room.

They were both grinning from ear to ear. Howard was dressed in his usual bright, tight pants and shirt, and the black eye he'd received a couple of weeks ago – from running into a door he'd told them, but they'd always thought some woman had done it – was practically healed. Raj was wearing black cargo pants and a t-shirt.

They each made a big production of taking a check from his pocket, snapping it and then holding it over his head with two fingers.

"Congratulate us, all you little people out there in the dark," Howard said.

"What are you talking about?" demanded Leonard.

"We've been keeping a secret from you," said Raj. "You will shrivel up into a seed pod when you hear." He extended the check and Leonard took it.

"Pay to the order of Rajesh Koorapolli the sum of $20,000," he said out loud. "And it's signed by… by… " he turned to glance at Sheldon. "Wil Wheaton!"

"Wil Wheaton?" Now it was Sheldon's turn to squeak. He rose to his feet. "What have you two been up to?"

"Just after that bowling tournament a few months ago," said Raj…

"We got to talking with Wil Wheaton," interrupted Howard.

"Howard asked if Wil could hook him up with Mirina Sirtis. _And_ Gates McFadden," interpolated Raj.

"After _that_ broke the ice," continued Howard, "we started talking about his writing. He said he wanted to write something for TV….a sitcom, but he was having trouble coming up with ideas."

"So _I_ said," said Raj excitedly, "You should write a comedy about physicists. Everyone always thinks we are so serious, with our heads up our telescopes or our little neutron cloud chambers, but we're really very fun and happening guys."

"And then_ I_ said," continued Howard, "Don't make it about _guy_ physicists. Every show on TV is all about the _guys_. _I_ said, make it a bunch of women scientists. They're all beautiful, but they're so damn smart that they can never get any guys. Because the guys are all intimidated, right? I said, Wouldn't it be funny to show all these beautiful women, and guys just gazing at them with doe eyes?"

"And Wil Wheaton said he would think about it," Raj said proudly. "And" – Raj flourished the check – "He did."

Sheldon very slowly sank back down onto his spot. He clutched the left-hand arm of the couch with his left hand, and wished that he had some kind of an arm-rest at which to clutch with his right hand.

Leonard started at him. "Hold on tight, folks," he said, "It looks like we're in for a bumpy ride."

Sheldon stared up at him, his eyes twitching. "The world has become unhinged from its axis," he said, "and we're being _boinged_ about in space like a giant pinball."

"He called us a couple of weeks ago," continued Howard, "And said that CBS bought the pilot, and casting sessions were beginning immediately."

"And you got Wil Wheaton to have Penny asked to audition!" exclaimed Leonard.

"Yep," said Howard proudly.

"And is that why…?" Leonar gestured at his eye.

Howard gestured at his own eye. "Yes, she was very happy when I told her that Wheaton had said she had an audition appointment. She hugged me. But when I tried to…." He moved his hands sensuously, "You know…she punched me! Then she picked me up off the floor and thanked me again, and asked me to help her rehearse her lines."

"Interesting," said Sheldon aloud. Inwardly he was thinking, "How strange. Penny hugged _and_ kissed me, for no reason. She has much more reason to be grateful to Wolowitz, and yet although she hugged him, she wouldn't let him kiss her. Well, who would, without being paid for it?"

And then, because he was honest in his thoughts as in everything else, he started listing to himself the short list of Howard's girlfriends who had done so.

"Penny just got the call a few minutes ago, apparently," said Leonard. "She got the part…whatever part she was auditioning for."

Raj clapped his hands. "Way to go, Penny!"

"Way to go, _me_," said Howard.

"Or perhaps," said Sheldon coldly, "We should say, 'Way to go, Wil Wheaton.'"

They all turned to stare at him.

"What are you saying?" demanded Leonard.

"As competent an audition instructor as Howard may be, I seriously doubt if he could have taught Penny enough of the "lingo" if I may so term it, of the scientific fraternity. How on earth could she have been chosen if Wil Wheaton had not been interested in seeing her in the role?" And he gave Leonard what he thought was a very meaningful look, and Leonard understood exactly what he meant.

"Not at all!" snapped Howard. "I coached her on the pronunciation of all the words, and I worked with her, and she was really good. If she was selected she did it on her own merits."

"Wow…" said Leonard. Now it was his turn to sit down. "You've known about all this for two weeks…you, Raj and Penny, and you never said anything?"

"That's right," said Raj. "We wanted to keep it a secret, to surprise you…"

"Or at least wait until we got Wheaton's check in our hands so we'd have proof of our story," amplified Howard.

"And Penny didn't tell me, either," said Leonard, lost in depressed thought. "I thought she seemed kind of excited these last couple of weeks, and she said she'd auditioned for a show and thought she did really well… but she never told me. And _you_ coached her?" he said to Howard accusingly.

"And got a black eye for my trouble," Howard pointed out. "Don't go there, girlfriend!"

Leonard strode to the fridge and took out a gallon of chocolate ice cream. The special kind, made for the lactose intolerant. Plucking a spoon from the silverware drawer, he began to eat without benefit of bowl.

"Guys, guys," said Raj, "If you can forget your angst for a moment, just think what this means! Four hot actresses are going to be physicists…and Wil Wheaton is going to let us meet them. Well, the three of them that we don't already know. We'll be on a CBS sound stage! All of us!"

"All of us?" said Leonard. "CBS. Soundstage. A show about 4 beautiful women physicists. Played by hot actresses." Suddenly he smiled, and the ice cream eating became one of celebration rather than of depression.

Sheldon was sitting with his arms wrapped round himself. "Wil Wheaton!" he said to himself. "So my nemesis strikes again!"


	3. Chapter 3

The Mirror Image Iterations Chapter 3

I.

"So you each got $20,000 from Wil Wheaton?" Leonard asked.

Raj and Howard nodded. "_And_ signed a contract, saying we provided the idea to Wil but he was the one who turned it into reality. But if the show is made into a series, we'll get 5% of the profits. 5%!"

"That's not actually bad," said Leonard, "Considering how much TV shows make these days. 5% of a million dollars is…"

"$50,000," said Sheldon immediately. "Not that much when you think about it," he said dismissively.

"Each," pointed out Raj.

"Oh, wait," said Sheldon suddenly. "What do you mean, _if_ the show is made into a series? Penny said that it _was_ a series."

"She was probably just excited," Howard said with a wave of his hand. "We all know how it is. First they have to make a pilot, and if the pilot is popular, _then_ they make the series."

"And if the pilot is _not_ popular," said Raj, suddenly concerned, "They _don't_ make the series. Or they recast the actors and rewrite it and try again."

"Oh, no," said Sheldon. "What if Penny turns out to be John Hoyt instead of DeForest Kelly? Or Jeffrey Hunter instead of William Shatner?"

"Or Meg Foster instead of Sharon Gless," said Raj. "Or Genevieve Bujold instead of Kate Mulgrew?"

"Well, we have to make sure that doesn't happen!" declared Leonard.

They sat staring at each other, and then they heard it. There was a howl from Penny's apartment. Not the howl of a wolf, seeking its mate, but the howl of utter despair.

As one, they rushed across the hallway.

She stood in the center of the room, clutching a script. (They had all seen scripts before – scripts form Star Trek, Kung Fu….any show you could name were often auctioned on Ebay.) She stared at them, "like a deer looking into headlights," Sheldon would describe it later.

"Penny, what's the matter?" demanded Leonard.

"A messenger just dropped off the script, for the role I'm supposed to play. It's a show called _The Steady State Theory_. I just looked at it and…and…oh, Leonard…" she dropped the script and walked into Leonard's arms.

Howard pounced on it. Raj and Sheldon gathered round as he paged through it. The front page had the list of the actors and the parts they were to play – Penny was to play Agatha Parker. They hurried to find her first scene, which took place in a laboratory….then raised their heads to stare silently at Penny's back. Over her shoulder, Leonard looked at them. Solemnly, they returned his gaze, shaking their heads funerally.

"Penny, Penny," said Leonard comfortingly. "It's all right. So you've got a lot of complex dialog. You've also got four physicists who can help you understand it."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," murmured Sheldon. "But we can certainly help you pronounce it."

II.

While Penny fortified herself by shopping for shoes online, Raj, Howard and Leonard read the script. Sheldon had been banished back to his own apartment – he was a very fast reader and had been driving the other three crazy by insisting that they turn the pages at his pace.

As Raj, Howard and Leonard read, they exchanged glances. Yes….these characters were very familiar, for all that they were women.

There was Henrietta Monroe, a super-intelligent woman who had gone to college when she was 11. She had difficulty in relating to others, was uninterested in men, and expected everyone to arrange their lives for her convenience.

Agatha Parker was the "normal" one – apart from the fact that she was very intelligent – she wanted a regular relationship with a man, but was too shy to approach anyone, in particular the handsome male would-be actor who had just moved in next door. She was the "peace-maker" among the group….the voice of reason.

Then there was Tomoe Terao, from Japan. Although she longed for a relationship, she had great difficulty speaking with men…indeed, she became mute in front of them.

And finally there was Helen Faraday, an over-sexed, predatory woman who was always chasing guys, and because she was very beautiful she always got them. But because of her tremendous intelligence, they never stuck around the next morning.

When Howard had grasped exactly how _his_ "mirror image" was being portrayed, he threw up his hands. "What the frak is this? I try those lines and never get anywhere! And she gets _everybody_?"

"Well, think about it," said Raj. "Women can pick and choose who they go out with, they won't take just anybody. But if you were approached by a beautiful woman asking if you wanted to go to bed, wouldn't _you_ jump at the chance?"

"Point taken," Howard admitted reluctantly. "God, women have it so easy."

"So, to summarize," said Leonard, "Penny is playing Agatha Parker, the "normal" one of the group. Kamiko Musashi, a newcomer actress, a Hawaiian of Japanese descent, is playing Tomoe Terao. Henrietta Monroe is being played by Katherine Hayes… I think I've seen her in something…she looks like Katherine Hepburn, doesn't she?"

The other two nodded.

"And finally, Helen Faraday is being played by Debbie Kendrick. Never heard of her, either."

"This is very bad," said Raj. "I mean, the plot is very good, but these actresses. Who are they? All newcomers. Except this Katherine Hayes. What is needed is established stars, like Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan and Betty White."

"Yes, 40 years ago Rue McClanahan would have made a great Helen Faraday. And Betty White could have played the normal one, Agatha Parker. And Bea Arthur could have played Henrietta Monroe. But what actresses are there in their 20s today that can take on these roles? Nobody!"

"Hey, what about Summer Glau?" demanded Howard. "She'd be great in the Henrietta Monroe part. Just great. She'd terminate _everybody_."

Raj and Leonard exchanged grins.

Then Leonard said: "Okay, you guys. Let's get to work. I'll go next door and make copies of all the sheets with Penny's dialog on them (his printer also served as a fax, copy machine and scanner), and then we'll come back and help her go over the dialog."

Raj looked up. "I'd better go borrow a beer from Penny's refrigerator."

"Right," said Leonard, heading for the door. "The Impossible Missions Force is on the job."

"He, I _heard_ that," called Penny.


	4. Chapter 4

The Mirror Image Iterations Chapter 4

I.

When Leonard entered his apartment with Penny's script, Sheldon looked up from his computer. Leonard was glad to see that –h e had half-expected to see Sheldon sulking in his spot on the couch, just waiting for the opportunity to direct a laser-like glare at everyone who entered the room and inform them that they really needed to take speed reading lessons.

"I'm going to make copies of Penny's dialog," Leonard informed him. "Then we're all going to help her with it. That is, if you'd like to help, too?"

"Of course," said Sheldon amiably, getting up. "But why just copy Penny's dialog? Why not make us four scripts, so that we can read through the whole thing? Each one of us can play one of the roles."

"That's a good idea, Sheldon," said Leonard, surprised and pleased. He looked at the last page of the script – it was only 30 pages long, and he had a high speed copier.

As Leonard made the copies, Sheldon collated them, seizing the opportunity to read the script at the same time. He was a fast reader, especially when it came to fluff like a sit-com. Occasionally an eyebrow rose as he came across some technical dialog, but pore over it as he may, he couldn't come up with any inaccuracies. Leonard thought this would annoy him no end, but Sheldon continued to be amiable.

Finally they returned to Penny's apartment bearing five scripts.

"Sheldon suggested that we read through it with you," he told Penny.

"Well, I guess that'll be okay," Penny said. "But you don't have to go through all that trouble. All I want is to have all the technical dialog down pat before tomorrow, so I don't make a fool of myself at the first rehearsal. Everything else I can handle on my own."

"But it will be fun," said Howard, and Raj, finishing off his bottle of beer, said, "Let's go for it, Penny."

Before they got started, Leonard asked Penny about the other actresses, and what they were like. He told Penny – more for Sheldon's benefit than for hers – about the suggestions they would have made for casting, 30 years ago.

Sheldon immediately disagreed. "_Not_ the _Golden Girls_," he said scornfully. "_Designing Women_. Dixie Carter would have been great in my role. Delta Burke would have been great as.." he gestured toward Howard.

"Before or after she gained all that weight?" said Howard, and Raj said, sincerely, "Either way."

"Annie Potts could have played Raj's part, and Jean Smart could have played Leonard's. "The normal one. She probably would have liked a role in which to show she wasn't the naïve blonde. I think Jean Smart would have been smart enough to play a supporting role to my genius," concluded Sheldon.* He looked around, proudly, thinking he'd made a clever pun, and everyone smiled at him encouragingly.

"How do you know so much about _Designing Women_?" Leonard asked him. "I thought you never watched sitcoms."

"My mother watched them, and she made me watch them with her. I tuned most of them out, of course, but _Designing Women_…for some reason I enjoyed that one. I suppose it was because of all the authentic Southern accents."

"Hey," said Penny, "Should I do a Southern accent? I can, you know."

Sheldon folded his arms over his chest and was about to retort when Leonard held up a hand. "That's something for you to talk over with your director, isn't it? For now, let's just get you comfortable with the dialog."

"Well saved," murmured Howard as they opened their scripts.

They read through the script, emoting broadly as amateurs always did (except for Penny who did emote as a professional should, only scaled back since they were only reading the script, anyway.) Sheldon also surprised her, hardly over-acting at all.

At the close of their impromptu acting session, everyone looked at each other…some in pride.

"I thought this was supposed to be a situation comedy?" Sheldon said. "Not that I've watched very many…only one, as I earlier alluded to, but, aren't they supposed to be funny?"

Penny smiled the faint smile she reserved for these occasions. The script was hilarious. But of course Sheldon couldn't see it.

Penny looked at Sheldon consideringly. He had come a long way in three years…not _quite_ the overbearing know-it-all he'd been when they'd first met. They played their little games, and she knew he played up to her because he knew that's what she wanted him to do. He actually made the effort…it was so sweet…

At this point Sheldon looked up and into her eyes. She smiled at him faintly. He smiled ever so slightly in response….a rather bewildered smile ….. he's wondering why I'm smiling at him, poor sweetie….and returned his gaze to the script.

And Howard…_he_ looked lost in thought. Probably not in any way in a self-discovery mode, but rather just imagining how often he could score if he were a beautiful woman.

As for Raj…three years of being unable to speak to her without being drunk. What was up with _that_? She'd thought that once he'd gotten to know her really well his shyness would ease around her, but it never had. But she knew he liked her, and she was pretty sure _he_ knew she liked _him_….why didn't he _do_ something about his problem?

And then there was Leonard… had she screwed things up irretrievably there…and if so, why had she done it? She knew his feelings for her, why was she afraid of reciprocating them?

So many reasons…

Life was so complicated!

Of course, thought Penny as she got up, collected the spent bottles of beer and took them to the kitchen. The script had not followed their lives _exactly_. Howard had given Wil Wheaton the idea for it, and Wheaton had apparently known that she was an actress who had recently moved next door to Sheldon and Leonard, but the rest of what had transpired in the script - that was just his imagination.

But he'd sure gotten their characterizations down pat.

And that was the problem, she thought sadly. She thought the script was funny, but they were playing _physicists_, after all. Would anyone want to watch 4 extremely beautiful but extremely smart women try to live their lives? Probably not. Still, she was going to get a lot of money for this pilot…enough to pay her rent on the apartment for the rest of the year, with plenty left over…maybe she'd get a new car, one that didn't have a broken Check Engine light…_that_ would make Sheldon happy.

But as for tonight…

Penny said, "I've got a really early call tomorrow, otherwise I'd take you all out for a drink to say thanks. As a matter of fact, I've been warned, these next several weeks are going to be busy, what with rehearsals and costume fittings and stuff. I might not see you at all for a while! But I'll make sure that you have front-row tickets when we do the filming."

II.

Sheldon and Leonard returned to their apartment, Raj and Howard left for their own respective homes. Sheldon retired to his room with the script, his laptop, and a pensive look on his face.

And Leonard changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed.

What would happen, he wondered, if Penny was successful in the part? If the show was successful? Actors in TV series made a lot of money. A _lot_ of money. She'd probably move out of this apartment – it was a 45-minute drive to Hollywood from here, why would she stay here? – and she'd be meeting actors…lots and lots of handsome actors with great bodies…and most of them would be straight.

She'd be lost to him.

On the other hand, she was lost to him right now. He'd told her he'd loved her and she hadn't wanted to hear it. And now he wasn't even getting benefits…it was just friends. Not that he minded that – he liked Penny a great deal as well as loved her…but….oh, hell.

More to the point, he thought after a few minutes of black depression, what would happen if the show wasn't successful? Or worse, if she was recast? What a blow that would be! How would Penny take it? Would the fact that she'd actually been in a TV pilot work toward her self-confidence, or would the fact that she'd been dumped from that role destroy her desire for an acting career….and cause her to fall back on marriage?

And if she _did_ give up on her acting career and decide to get married, would she choose him? A mere physicist for Cal Tech, who had to share an apartment with a crazy person to make ends meet?

What else could he do? Well…hell…his rocket work had gotten him noticed once before. Indeed, that's why Joyce Kim had attempted to seduce him, all those years ago, to get hold of his formula. He'd put _that_ work on hold, after the debacle in which Sheldon had had to save his life (and the elevator had been destroyed), but why not take it up again?

He should get in touch with Virgin Galactic, or the Space Ship Company. Civilian space exploration was the wave of the future, and he could get in on the ground floor…if he dared to leave warm, safe CalTech. And Sheldon.

Well, Sheldon would be all right. Bound to be. He could find a new roommate, and they could still have game nights together. There was no need for _that_ friendship to end. And he didn't want his friendship with Penny to end, either…but if there was a chance of making it something more…

Leonard took a deep breath. All this angst was fruitless. It was time to accept the fact that Penny and he were no longer an item. He would just get on with his life. Starting with getting a new job.

*(An in-joke because a very hot looking Jim Parsons had a cameo appearance in the movie Garden States opposite the much older Jean Smart who portrayed his girlfriend. Give it a look on YouTube.)


	5. Chapter 5

The Mirror Image Iterations Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Thanks everyone for the reviews. Much appreciated! I hope you'll continue to enjoy this story. Reviews and constructive criticism always welcome._

I.

It was nine pm, five days later. In the last week neither Sheldon nor Leonard had seen Penny at all – she'd taken a hiatus from her job at the Cheesecake Factory (a fact that Sheldon was not going to find out until the next day, Tuesday) – and was working 14 hour days at the TV studio – including Saturday and Sunday. There'd been wardrobe fittings, meetings with the other actors, and then rehearsal after rehearsal. So exhausted would she have been by the 45 minute commute that Katherine Hayes – the actress playing the role inspired by Sheldon - had invited Penny to use her guest-room during the shoot.

Sheldon was working on his computer, while Leonard was reading Richard Branson's biography and making notes.

There came a knock at the door.

Leonard rushed to answer it and found Penny standing there. She wore a sweat suit, her hair was pulled back in a pony tail from which several wisps had escaped, and she looked absolutely adorable.

"Penny, come in. Sit down. Can I get you a drink?"

"Just juice please, Leonard, thank you," said Penny, sinking onto the couch with a grateful sigh.

Sheldon stopped working and turned to look at her. She had not taken his spot, he noted warily. Usually she _did_ take his spot, just to make him tell her, "That's my spot." It was their playful little game. At least, _she_ probably thought it was "their" game, and he indulged her.

"So how are the rehearsals going?" asked Leonard, handing her a juice and sitting down himself.

"It is really tough, Leonard. We're _still_ at the table reading stage."

Sheldon got up from his computer and took his spot on the couch. "How does one "read" a table?" he demanded.

"That just means we sit around the table and read the script. We haven't gotten all the dialog memorized yet… we're supposed to go off book next Monday. Off book – that means no script, Sheldon."

"Oh," said Sheldon, who'd been about to ask that very thing.

"The thing is," said Penny, "we're kind of having trouble getting into our characters. At least, the others are. The director had us watch _Star Trek_ – Mr. Spock, you know, and _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ – Data… even Lilith from _Cheers_! But…"

"_Frasier_," said Sheldon.

"What?"

"Lilith was on _Frasier_. My mother loved that show."

"Really?" said Penny. "Well, before Lilith was on _Frasier_, she had a more recurring role on _Cheers_, so _that's_ what we were watching."

"Oh. Perhaps you should have watched _Frasier_, instead."

"In any event," said Penny swiftly, "We're all kind of having trouble getting into our characters. Finding our motivation. So I was wondering…"

"Yes?" said Leonard as she paused.

"I know you were going to come to the filming, and I told you I didn't want to see you guys until then. But, I was wondering…"

"Yes, Penny?" said Leonard.

"We've got the day off tomorrow. All four of us. And I thought, we should each spend the day with the character we'd been modeled on."

Leonard began twisting his fingers together as he gave this some thought. Penny's role had been modeled on him – was this her subtle way of telling him she wanted to spend the day with him?

"We should call Raj and Howard and have them come over so we can discuss this," said Leonard.

Penny was looking at Sheldon. "What do you think, Sheldon?"

Sheldon folded his arms over his chest. "Your apprehension is unwarranted, Penny. I'm surprised this sensible course of action hadn't been proposed before. Obviously these actresses should meet us, so we can instruct them in how to play their roles properly. It is important that they do justice to the science of physics."

Leonard and Penny exchanged surprised glances. They hadn't expected Sheldon to be so cooperative. So…amiable.

Leonard had pulled out his cellphone and was texting Raj and Howard with an invite to come over for a beer and a chat with Penny, plus perhaps a showing of _Them_! to make it worth their while.

When Howard and Raj arrived, Penny put the case to them.

"I'd be absolutely dee-lighted," said Howard with his oily grin.

Raj looked terrified. He leaned over and whispered into Howard's ear.

"Raj isn't too sure, obviously," Howard spoke up. "What can she learn watching him not speaking to her all day? He can't drink at work, so he won't be able to talk to her."

"Tomoe already knows what to expect," Penny said. "She's playing the same type of character, remember. I said she would have to just sit in the background and not say a word, or let him communicate via sign language."

"Now, that's an idea," said Sheldon thoughtfully. "Have you ever thought of learning sign language, Raj?"

Raj leaned over to Howard.

"No," said Howard presently, "but that's an interesting hypothesis. He's going to think about it."

"Fine," said Penny. "Well, I'll come to your office first thing in the morning, Leonard, and Katherine Hayes will visit you in your office, Sheldon. Kamiko will go to Raj's, and Debbie will seek you out in yoiur office, Howard."

"Who is Kamiko?" asked Sheldon.

"Kamiko, she's playing Tomoe," said Penny.

Sheldon shook his head. He had an excellent memory when it came to important things – one of the best memories on the planet – but when it came to remembering the names of actresses and distinguishing them from the names of the characters they played and the names of the characters they were modeled after…

"You just referred to her as Tomoe," he pointed out.

"Slip of the tongue," Penny waved a hand.

"A slip of the tongue it may have been, but I foresee a real problem with this. It's too confusing. For simplicity's sake, I think we should just refer to them as Howard, Raj, Leonard, and Sheldon."

"How is that any less confusing?" asked Leonard.

"Well, we will refer to _ourselves_ as ur-Howard, ur-Raj, ur-Leonard, and ur-Sheldon. Simplicity itself."

"I don't understand," said Penny. Why aren't _they_ these ur….thingies, and you guys… are just you guys?"

"Ur," said Sheldon with a superior smirk," is a German word for "original". It is used to refer to the beginning of any project. For example, _Star Trek_, the TV series, was the Ur-text for the five _Star Trek_ movies. Thus, as I said, I am ur-Sheldon, and the woman I am to meet tomorrow is Sheldon. And so on."

"I think we should stick with their real names," said Penny. "After all, we may be playing physicists, but we don't really have you're big brains…"

Sheldon shrugged. "As you wish," he said, "but I fear that if we don't follow my common sense suggestion there will be a train wreck tomorrow. Seven names to keep track of… _someone's_ bound to get confused." And he rolled his eyes at Howard.

"What do you mean, seven names?" said Penny. "Four actors, eight names."

"But we already know _your_ name," pointed out Sheldon, refraining from adding a "Good lord." "It's just the name of your _character_ that we'll have to memorize… what is it, Agatha Parker?"

"See, you remembered!" said Penny. "I knew you could if you put your mind to it."

Sheldon smiled tightly.

With that settled, Penny excused herself to go to bed for some much needed sleep, and Howard, Raj, Leonard and Sheldon relaxed and enjoyed _Them_!

"I love James Whitmore," said Howard, halfway through the movie. "You notice how he steals every scene he's in, regardless of whether it's his scene or to someone else. He rubs his eyes, or the back of his neck, or does _something_ to make sure the audience focuses on him instead of the main people in the scene."

"He's certainly very skilled at it," Sheldon agreed. "Leonard, it's too bad Penny bailed on us. You and she should watch this movie tomorrow. Perhaps she'll be able to implement the "Whitmore method," if I may so term it, to ensure that the audience for her little sitcom will always be watching her."

"I'll mention it," said Leonard.

Movie over, Raj and Howard left, and Leonard and Sheldon retired to their separate bedrooms. Each one of them was doing some serious thinking, and more than one was dreading the morrow.


	6. Chapter 6

The Mirror Image Iterations Chapter 6

The Dreams #1: Penny's Dream

_Author's Note: This story has some sex, not so graphic as to need to be R-rated, I don't think, especially since the coitus gets interrupted, but just so you know…_

Penny carried the last of her boxes into her new apartment, dropped it on the floor, and stretched. Wow, walking up 4 flights of stairs twenty times really took it out of you. Especially when you were carrying heavy boxes. She could really have used Kurt's muscles…too bad his biggest muscle was between his ears.

She had left the door open after carrying in her last box, and was standing contemplating some knickknacks on her table…where to put them?

Suddenly there was a voice at the door.

Penny turned to see two men. One was short, about her height, with brown hair, a square face and a square build, wearing geeky glasses and a charming smile. The other one really caught her attention. He was tall, but beanpole thin…Kurt could have snapped him like a twig. But his hair was dark brown and his eyes were a very light blue and there was something…. innocent…about his expression.

Both of them looked terrified.

"Hi," said Penny, grinning cheerfully.

"Hi," said the short one. "Hi," the tall one.

There was a repetition of "hi's."

Then the short one said, "We live across the hall."

"Oh, that's nice," said Penny. The short one looked alarmed. "We don't live _together_," he hastened to say. "We just live together."

They introduced themselves, and after a bit more stilted conversation they left for their own apartment and Penny closed the door. Shy boys – so sweet.

A spin of the kaleidoscope and she was in their apartment. The tall, blue eyed Sheldon was showing off his white board with all its little formulas and gazing at her so intently…

Then as they had dinner he was so shy, with a sweet little smile. She noticed he had a tendency to stick the tip of his tongue out the slightest bit when he was really flustered, looking like a kitten in search of a little milk…

Another spin of the kaleidoscope, and she was in bed, and there was a sudden noise. Penny opened her eyes, but didn't feel in the least frightened. She walked to the door of her bedroom and saw Sheldon in her living room… cleaning. _Cleaning_.

He was dressed in a plaid bathrobe over plaid pajamas, and was holding one of her shirts, which she'd left carelessly over a chair, neatly folded.

"Hello, Sheldon" said Penny.

He spun to stare at her. "Hello, Penny."

He stood there, holding her shirt, frozen.

Penny came up to him and took her shirt out of his unresisting hands. Her first intention was to drop it on the floor but she feared that might cause some kind of seizure, so she placed it carefully on the table.

Then she took his hand and tugged gently. "Come with me," she said softly.

Sheldon followed her into her bedroom and stood there, staring around incredulously. "Yes, I can see I should have started in here, first," he said.

"No, Sheldon," said Penny softly, gently. She took the edges of his bathrobe and tugged them down over his shoulders. He had no choice but to shimmy out of the robe or be trapped.

"Penny, I really only came in here to do some organizing," Sheldon said, the slightest note of panic in his voice.

Penny rested her hands on his hips and stood on tippy toe, tilting her head up to him. He blinked at her and then…and then he bent down further, so that his lips could meet hers.

A closed mouth kiss….just his lips on hers, really, while his arms remained at his sides.

Penny parted her lips slightly, nibbled on his lips, meantime using her hands to press his hips closer to hers. She wanted him to put his hands on her hips, but the seconds passed and he merely stood there…unresisting but unresponsive.

Penny took his hands and placed them on her hips. They remained there. _That_ was a good sign. Then she raised her own hands and used them to caress the back of Sheldon's head, one hand on his close-cropped brown hair and the other on his neck. She poked out her tongue, tried to work it between his lips…obediently his mouth opened.

With her hips pressed to his, she could feel him growing, hardening…

Now Penny turned him, backed him up a couple of steps and pushed him onto the bed. He lay there, blinking up at her, as she crawled on to the bed in turn and straddled his hips again. This time, his hands went onto her hips without prompting. She bent down and stuck her tongue in his mouth, and his tongue met hers.

Then, suddenly, there was the sound of her alarm clock, and Penny's eyes flew wide open.

"Oh, my god," she said, half amused, half confused. She'd been dreaming about having sex with Sheldon. _Sheldon_. She would have never thought that could have happened in a month of Sundays. Oh, she thought he was cute, and she loved him as a friend, although he was a wackadoodle…but really, why on earth had she been dreaming of having sex with him?

Penny took a deep breath. Too bad her alarm had rung. It would have been interesting to know if they would have gone all the way.

Penny rolled out of bed, and went and took a cold shower.


	7. Chapter 7

The Mirror Image Iterations Chapter 7

The Dreams #2: Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Dream

"Dr. Cooper to the bridge."

Captain Kirk's voice resounded in his quarters.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper looked up from the 3-dimensional chess game he'd been playing with the robot from _Lost in Space_ and tapped the science insignia on his left breast. "Dr. Cooper here. I'm on my way."

Dr. Cooper stood up and tugged his blue sleeves down lower over his wrists. He glanced at himself in a mirror briefly – looking approvingly at the short black hair, the swept back eyebrows, and the pointy ears.

He ignored the three television cameras that followed his ever y move – they were there to record to his adventures for posterity – and walked to the turbolift, which within seconds had deposited him on the bridge of the Enterprise.

Captain Kirk was seated in his customary command chair, Dr. Leonard McCoy at his side. Lieutenant Uhuru was at her station, and Montgomery Scott at his.

Dr. Cooper nodded approvingly. He headed toward his own station. There was someone there. A woman…a red-shirt woman.

"Penny, you're in my spot," he told her.

"Sorry, Dr. Cooper," Penny said, and moved aside.

Dr. Cooper came to stand on the other side of Captain Kirk's command chair, and as one the three men gazed into the view screen.

"What do you make of them, Dr. Cooper?" asked Kirk.

"They are three Centauri from the Babylon 5 space station, Captain," Dr. Cooper informed him austerely. "Note the spiky hairdos. Those three are my greatest nemesis, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Dr. Raj Koothrapolli and Howard Wolowitz. Wolowitz is the one who doesn't have a PhD."

"_Precisely_," said the Wolowitz Centauri, stepping forward from his two other colleagues. "I'm the one who gets things done around here while everybody else floats around in lala land. But that's not the point, Dr. Cooper. We need your help. Our experiments have gone awry and we are on the verge of being turned into a black hole in space if the chain-reaction isn't contained properly. We need your help."

"Of course you need my help," Dr. Cooper said smugly. "Permission to beam aboard the space station, captain."

"Permission granted," said Kirk.

Then, without the need of having to go down to the transporter room, Dr. Cooper found his entire body shimmering ….he was transporting over to the space station. When he arrived, he looked around. Penny's red-shirted form was just shimmering into existence, too.

"Penny, what are you doing here?" he demanded.

She smiled at him. "You'll find out in a minute, Dr. Cooper."

Dr. Cooper turned back to look at the room. It wasn't the bridge of the Babylon 5…yet it looked strangely familiar. There were two chairs located side by side. Above each chair was a large silver bowl, connected by a series of pipes to each other.

This wasn't the architectural chamber from Camus II, in the Star Trek episode "Turnabout Intruder", this was the Thought Transfer device from the Avengers episode "Who's Who!"

Dr. Cooper tapped his insignia-communicator desperately. "It's a trap!" he yelled. But no one on the _Enterprise_ heard him.

Dr. Cooper brought his fingers to his forehead, desperately trying to explode the brains of Leonard. Howard and Raj, but they set upon him and shoved him into one of the chairs, strapping his arms and legs down and placing the bowl over his prestigious brain.

They couldn't defeat him! Even without the assistance provided by the pointy fingers, he could still explode their brains.

Then his eyes widened as he saw the person in the next chair – Penny.

"Penny!" he yelled. "Don't do it!"

But she only pursed her lips at him, in that way she had, and lowered the visor over her own head.

Twinkly lights began to twinkle, and as he watched they began to go up the transparent piping above her visor, up and up to the cross piece, then across and over to _his_ visor. He could feel his brain being attacked by a sucking motion.

When he came to, it was to see his body, his body, standing in front of him, grinning, making that pursed look expression that he knew so well from Penny.

"Penny!" he yelled. "You're in my spot!"

"And I'm going to stay here, Sheldon,"Cooper-Penny said, saucily. Then she turned to the three Centauri. "Come on, boys, let's beam over to the Enterprise. Goodbye, Sheldon."

Dr. Sheldon Cooper, in the body of Penny, raised his eyes skyward and yelled, "Pennnnnnnnnnny!"

Sheldon Cooper sat up in bed, gasping for breath. What a horrible nightmare. He lay back, chuckling. How ridiculous, a body swapping machine. Sadly the last gasp of the last series of the best science fiction series _ever_, _Star Trek_.

It could never happen in real life. In real life he'd be able to explode their brains.

Sheldon rolled over and went back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_**The Big Bang Theory**_

_**The Mirror Image Iterations**_

_**Chapter 8: Raj's Dream**_

Raj Koothrapalli rolled over in bed. He flung one hand out to his side, and it hit a pillow. He grabbed the pillow and curled it in to his chest.

Out of the darkness, a voice came. "What are you doing, just lying there?"

Raj sat up and stared out into the darkness. "Who is that?"

He came walking into view, a man in his forties with black hair, slicked back with enough oil that he must have got out of the Gulf oil spill, a handsome face, and a powder blue suit over a pink shirt, straight out of the 70s, with black trimming on the pockets and collar. It was Buddy Love…from _The Nutty Professor_!

"What…what do you mean?" asked Raj.

Buddy came up to the bed, reached out and grabbed Raj by the throat of his pajama top. He pulled him up in bed, then slapped him twice across the face.

"You're a goddamn astrophysicist, for god's sake."

"Uh…yes I am an astrophysicist," said Raj.

Buddy released him with disgust.

"It's been three years since you met Penny. Three years. And you know the chick digs you. But you can't say word one to her. You're a disgrace."

"I know," said Raj, hanging his head.

"No," said Buddy. "_No_. It's time you took your destiny in your own hands. Look at me."

Raj peered at him. "You're cool," he said, "but how does that help me?"

"I'm the _essence_ of cool," said Buddy, "distilled out of a few chemicals."

Raj shook his head. "I can't get drunk every time I want to talk to a girl. I never know what I'm saying!"

"You don't have to get drunk," said Buddy. "One beer doesn't make you drunk, for God's sake."

"Actually it does. I have a very low tolerance for alcohol."

"I see," said Buddy. "I see. Well then, the explanation is simple. You need to get the essence of alcohol out of the alcohol, and turn it into something that gives you the essence of cool but doesn't affect your judgment."

"My judgment needs to be affected if I'm going to talk to women," said Raj sadly.

"You're getting on my nerves," snapped Buddy. "That's a defeatist attitude. What we need is a chemist. Someone who can mix you up a potion for you. Turn you into…well…into me."

"Oh, I could never be you, Buddy," said Raj deferentially.

"That's true. But you could be a close approximation. So get up and let's go places."

Raj got out of bed and the next thing he knew he was standing in a nightclub. Jerry Lewis' other identity, Professor Julius Kelp, was there, clad in a white jacket, buck teeth, and a bad haircut that put Wolowitz's to shame. He was seated at a piano and there were all sorts of vials on the top of the piano, each one complete with some kind of colorful liquid, some of them emitting smoke. Kelp was pouring the vials into each other with panache.

"Here, my boy," he said, giving Raj a completed vial, with a swirly mixture of colors inside it, like a lava lamp.

Raj looked at it dubiously, but then he closed his eyes and drank it all down.

The room spun around, Raj opened his eyes and found himself seated at the piano. Penny, wearing a dress of various shades of blue, with her hair permed into a 1960s do, sat beside him, gazing at him with adoring eyes as he began to sing to her, keeping his eyes on her even as he began to pound out the lyrics.

_That old black magic has me in its spell_

_That old black magic that you weave so well_

_Icy fingers up_

_and down my spine_

_The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine_

_The same old tingle that I feel_

_inside_

_When that elevator starts its ride_

_Down and down I go, round and round I go_

_Like a leaf that's_

_caught in the tide_

_I should stay away but what can I do_

_I hear your name, and I'm aflame_

_Aflame with_

_such a burning desire_

_That only your kiss can put out the fire_

_You are the lover that I've waited for_

_The mate that fate had me created for_

_And every time your lips meet mine_

_Baby down and down I go,_

_all around I go_

_In a spin, loving the spin that I'm in_

_Under that old black magic called love_

As he'd been singing, he'd been watching Penny, watching her eyes gaze into his, watching her lick her lips as he'd sung the lines:

_I hear your name, and I'm aflame_

_Aflame with_

_such a burning desire_

_That only your kiss can put out the fire_

He stopped singing, resting his hands on the piano. Penny leaned close to him, her lips pursed. He leaned close to her, eyes half closed…

Their lips met, there was a spark like that of electricity, and Raj could feel all the "essence" evaporate from his body like air sucked from a spaceship after a meteorite strike.

She drew back a little and gazed at him…she could tell that his _essence_ was gone.

"Oh, Raj," she said sadly.

He could only look at her….

A single tear fell from his eye.

He looked around desperately for Buddy Love and Professor Kelp, but they were walking off into the darkness, arms across each other's shoulders, like Humphrey Bogart and Claude Rains in Casablanca.

"Here's looking at you, kid," Raj tried to say, but no sound emerged. Slowly he brought his head down and rested it on the piano.


End file.
